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As he opened the door of the building to enter, the visitor was engulfed by a stream of boys and girls. He stood aside politely and held the door. Paying scant attention to the stranger, taking for granted that someone was holding the door open for them, the children thoughtlessly brushed past him. The children did not mean to be rude; they were merely busy with their own concerns.
Catching sight of me, the visitor attempted to weave his way through the crowded doorway. Twice he pushed aside. To save further embarrassment, I finally moved among the boys and girls and held them back at the doorway. Looking sheepish, they stopped to let our visitor enter. The visitor maintained courtesy; he said and showed nothing. Containing my discomfiture over the incident, I made pleasant conversation.
At lunch the following day, I spoke to our boys and girls about the incident. I told them I knew that no discourtesy had been intended, that they had merely been preoccupied with their own interests. Just the same, I stressed that their behavior had been impolite, speaking at length about manners and about the meaning of courtesy. I felt strongly about what I said, and the children felt the force of my convictions.
To hold a door open or to step aside for another individual shows respect and thoughtfulness, whether the individual be a contemporary or an older person. We all need to be more considerate, more attuned to the feelings of others. Even inanimate objects deserve respect especially those that belong to someone else.
 At the beginning of a new year, many resolutions are made. My New Year's resolution is to be more polite. Do not misunderstand me. I do not want to behave rigidly or robot-like. Manners are not ultimate in themselves. I realize, too, that polished manners may hide thoughtless, inconsiderate, even arrogant feelings. Forms are rarely values in themselves; rather, they are vehicles through which goodness can be expressed. My New Year's resolution is to develop a thoughtful, gracious, considerate way of acting that will enable me to live better. This will be more likely to occur if I can preserve and adapt to our times the best of the past. Good education proceeds from the known to the unknown.
To believe in good manners and to make them a reality in daily living are two quite different matters. Still, if all of us begin holding ourselves to standards of considerate living, looking for examples in those who possess grace, and looking unto the Jesus of the gospels, we will slowly grow in graciousness ourselves, communicating that quality not only to our children but also to others.
I want to be more considerate in the New Year. Ideally, as Christians we should all embrace and share the values and philosophy of a community of people called the Roman Catholic Church. Its way of life is sacramental; that is, the Church believes that through the outward and visible is mediated the inward and spiritual. I believe that good manners are, then, visible means of indicating the spiritual a means that will enable us to live and work together with graciousness, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and love.
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