Many people have a fantasy of what a perfect holiday should be. For some, it is a household of family and close friends, a tree crowded with ornaments, a feast that goes on for hours, a gentle dusting outside. Our hearts tell us we all wish to be together at the holidays - a time of joy and peace and celebration. But this always can't be the case. Our mobile society has scattered us all about - not to mention commitments to military, the tragedies of death or divorce and separation, demanding work schedules.

Many of us are missing someone who cannot be home with the rest of the family. How do we get "around" the barriers when the barriers themselves can't be torn down? Even in the close-knit family, and perhaps most often there, the need for forgiveness becomes crucial at the time of year most fully given to our ties to the past. Will this be another season of harsh words, awkward silences and empty chairs? Or might this be the start of a new holiday tradition - one in which giving includes forgiving?

Growing in grace has never been easy; pain and hurt are essential to growth. Those who are the most sensitive know the greatest pain - even hell. Yet out of the hell of pain and difficulty often emerges the greatest good. The finest of man's creation rarely emerges during times of stability or in lives of contentment and ease; it emerges in times of crisis and pain, in lives that are restless and hurt. Indeed, most often through suffering do we know Jesus. In our irritations and frustrations with family, friends, colleagues, it may not be easy for us to see that they may ultimately come to know the good of God himself - yet they often do.

Giving of ourselves is one of the most wonderful and beneficial acts. It is a miracle that can transform the heaviest of hearts into a place of warmth and joy. True giving opens us. It fills the giver and warms the receiver. Something new is made where before there was nothing. Two people, who moments before were trapped in separate worlds of private cares, suddenly meet each other over a simple act of sharing. Warmth, even joy is created. The world expands.

In the words of Christ, "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." In the language of today, happy are those who are humble, open, able to learn the new. They shall know a life that is rich, full, and good. "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." Or happy and rich in life are those who are sympathetic, compassionate, and understanding; those qualities shall be returned to them. "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." Or, happy are they who unceasingly search for the right, lay aside the form, and hold to the substance. They shall be fulfilled and even know God.

Don't go through the Christmas season feeling pressured, empty, inadequate or depressed. As we live with humility and compassion, always searching for the right with our crosses, we can - even in the midst of great confusion (even because of it) grow into finer, better human beings ourselves and so help others to become better, finer human beings.

Pray before a beautiful crèche to rediscover in your own heart the magic, the meaning and the mystery of this blessed time.

May God hold you in love and peace
during this holiday season
and throughout the coming year.

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